Silence of my heart
by SmoochMonster
Summary: Clary is a teenage artist whose mom is gone most of the time. When something happens to her she results to cutting. One day the biggest play boy at her school asks her to come over. Sparks fly, will he be able to save his bloody angel or will she die trying to cut away the pain? R
1. Chapter 1: Meet Clary

**Ok lovelies since I have gotten such good reviews on my last Mortal Instrument fanficion I have decided to write a FF based on my life, with a few embellishments. Enjoy.**

Chapter 1: Suicide is my friend.

CPOV

Ever since my moms been working so hard, I've been home alone a lot. Kids at school have been teasing me because my clothes have been getting too small for my body, but my mom hasn't been home and her boss keeps cutting her pay check. Most of the time I have to borrow my clothes from my best friend Isabelle, luckily her clothes fit me perfectly. Today as I walk into school I could already feel things go downhill.

"Look what the just crawled out of the trashcan." Sneered some blonde girl with her clique that always insists on picking on me. To my good fortune Izzy came up right behind me and cracked her knuckles, "Hey girls don't you guys have some corner to work?" I couldn't help my self but let out a small chuckle. The girls flipped their hair and left, Izzy looks at me and smiles "How are you today?" she asks smiling at me and walks me to my locker and banging on her locker as it creaks to a slow open.

"Eh I'm ok." I replied, slowly opening my locker and shoving my binders into the small spaces left inside my cluttered locker. Izzy looks at me worriedly, I just shrug and continue to rummage through my unorganized locker.

"Clary you know that you can talk to me about anything right?" Izzy asks me tilting her head slightly.

"Ya I know, thanks Izz." I close my locker and continue to my class.

JPOV

I don't know why I keep staring at her. She's just some chick in my first period. But I just cant keep my eyes off her. Her beautiful mane of fire red hair, the way she bites her pencil when she's stuck on a math question, or the way she smiles slightly when she looks outside. God she is so pretty. But I doubt she ever notices me.

**Alright lovlies should I continue? Review please! Love you all!**


	2. Chapter 2: How will I cope?

**Sorry it's been so long since I've been able to update I haven't been feeling so good ****L****. But since I have gotten such good feedback I've decided I should continue. Let me know what you think ****J****. Just to clarify Clary was raped, but my own memories are hard to write down so I have to skip that scene.**

Chapter 2: How do I cope with this?

CPOV

I can still feel his hands on me, I feel disgusting, dirty and violated. I curl into my comforters cradling my bleeding wrist, cutting seems to be the only thing to get his filth off me. At first it started with small little cuts, but when it started to help I cut deeper and the blood started to wash away some of his grime off my body. I shiver recalling what happened, just a few nights ago, I can't say how many times I tried to wash him away to no avail. And I had to go to school tomorrow. Ugh.

*at school*

I walk down the hallways quietly trying to keep people from knocking into my wrists, its hard to carry my books but somehow I move so its possible. Someone smacks my back

"Hey Clary!" Izzy shouts and leans on me, I jump slightly and look up at her.

"Hey Izz… what's up?" I ask trying to sound natural as we continue to walk.

"I heard around the quad that a certain Jace Wayland likes you!" She nudges me, I roll my eyes.

"Izz I highly doubt he likes me, it's probably some idiots idea of a joke. No one in this school likes me, and that's ok. I need to focus on school anyway." I state matter-o-factly while I climb down the stairs to the lunch room. Izzy rushes next to me,

"How would you know? You have about four classes with him! Maybe he does like you." She chuckles at my failed attempt to scowl at her, she simply shrugs and continues walking. _No one likes me, and even if they did… who would want me now? I've been violated… no one wants to love something like me. Weak and fragile… my life is practically already over. _I thought sadly.

JPOV

_Something seemed different about her today. Did Isabelle tell her what I asked her to? Maybe she doesn't like me… who am I kidding I'm a total catch, maybe she's gay! No… I don't think that's it… are those bandages on her arm? _As I ponder this she rounds the corner and slams right into me, knocking up both on the ground. I shake my head as she apologizes and gathers her stuff quickly scampering away. For a brief moment I could smell her lovely sent of paint and lilac. I sigh happily and lean against a locker. Another day my love… another day.

**Alright sorry for it being so short… I'm becoming really sick…. Private message me or comment what you think will happen next ;) thanks Lovlies….**


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